


Avenging... Text Messages??

by sprayedwithcrab



Series: Don't Look Into It [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: (not major), Bisexual Peter Parker, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Ceiling Vent Clint Barton, Gay Bucky Barnes, Gen, Group chat, Hurt Peter Parker, Identity Reveal, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Memes, No Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker-centric, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Precious Peter Parker, Secret Identity, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tumblr Memes, please help me forget endgame ever happened
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-02-10 01:31:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18650194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sprayedwithcrab/pseuds/sprayedwithcrab
Summary: Tony Stark made a group chat.This went as well as you'd imagine.(sequel to Avenging the... Group Chat? and Avenging... Halloween???. you dont have to read them to understand this i guess but idk why u wouldn't anyway??)





	1. The day after

**Author's Note:**

> moist bread (the avengers' chat):  
> irondad: Tony  
> ÙwÚ: Bruce  
> Fridge: Bucky  
> birduncle: Sam  
> Magnet: Steve  
> spidermomma: Natasha  
> ReindeerGames: Loki  
> THUNDER: Thor  
> underoos: Peter  
> tonysbabysitter: Rhodey  
> CAWCAWMF: Clint  
> popnlock: Wanda  
> ISeeYou: Vision  
> bugbro: Scott  
> Simba: T'Challa  
> memequeen: Shuri  
> MAGIC: Stephen (Dr. Strange)  
> waddles: Wade  
> mayonnaise: May Parker  
> snp: Pepper
> 
>  
> 
> the boss bass benches (the acadec chat):  
> fastandfurious: Flash  
> underoos: Peter  
> pickles: Ned  
> unwantedvegetables: MJ  
> lincoln: Abe  
> Betty: Betty  
> AAUU: Sally  
> SPACE O.O: Cindy  
> Hurricanes: Seymour  
> Harrington: Mr. Harrington  
> beautifulreptillian: Liz

**Thursday, November 1**

 

**[the boss bass benches]**

 

**(2:36 AM) underoos is online**

 

 **underoos:** yoooooooooooooooo guys its no nut november

 **underoos:**  This feels wrong and out of place for some reason.

 

**(2:36 AM) underoos went offline**

**(6:45 AM) underoos, unwantedvegetables, fastandfurious, and Harrington are online**

 

 **Harrington:** Peter, why are you standing outside the school?

 

 **underoos:** cuz

 **underoos:** cuz its a thursday so like

 **underoos:** school

 

 **unwantedvegetables:** given what happened last night, did it not cross your mind once that maybe school is cancelled today?

 

 **underoos:** what

 **underoos:** what happened last night

 

 **fastandfurious:** did you hit your head or something???

 

 **underoos:** maybe

 **underoos:** i have a major headache so idk

 **underoos:** hhhhhhhhhh

 

 **Harrington:** Go home, Peter.

 

 **underoos:** what

 

 **Harrington:**  Oh my god!

 

**(6:48 AM) Harrington and underoos went offline**

 

 **fastandfurious:** what just happened

 

 **unwantedvegetables:** idk why tf would i know

 

**(6:48 AM) unwantedvegetables went offline**

**(6:49 AM) fastandfurious went offline**

**(7:02 AM) lincoln, Harrington, Hurricanes, and fastandfurious are online**

 

 **lincoln:** yo is peter ok???

 

 **Harrington:** He collapsed.

 **Harrington:** I think it was from the cold.

 **Harrington:** I took him to the hospital

 

 **Hurricanes:** Wow

 

 **fastandfurious:** wh??

 

 **lincoln:** wait can spiders thermoregulate

 

 **Harrington:** No, but I fail to see how that is relevant?

 

 **Hurricanes:** Peter? Peter, watch out, spiders can't thermoregulate! Oh no oh god he can't hear us he has Airpods in

 

 **lincoln:** exactly what I was thinking

 

 **fastandfurious:** ??????

 

**(7:08 AM) underoos is online**

 

 **underoos:** h-hewwo

 

 **Harrington:** Peter?!

 

 **underoos:** uwu no

 

 **lincoln:** then who are u

 

 **underoos:** u wiww nevew take me awive!!

 

 **Hurricanes:** Whoever you are I don't like you

 

 **underoos:** lmao anyway im just here to tell yall to a) stop blowing up his phone with texts and to b) tell you that peter is fine hes kinda just hibernating rn

 

 **fastandfurious:** u mean sleeping

 

 **underoos:** no i mean hibernating. his bpm is about 19

 

 **fastandfurious:** h oly s h it

 

 **underoos:** yeah but hes fine. anyway stop texting

 **underoos:** oh hold on hes a mod

 

**(7:10 AM) underoos kicked fastandfurious, Harrington, Hurricanes, and lincoln offline**

**(7:11 AM) underoos went offline**

 


	2. dudes im fine lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> moist bread (the avengers' chat):  
> irondad: Tony  
> ÙwÚ: Bruce  
> Fridge: Bucky  
> birduncle: Sam  
> Magnet: Steve  
> spidermomma: Natasha  
> ReindeerGames: Loki  
> THUNDER: Thor  
> underoos: Peter  
> tonysbabysitter: Rhodey  
> CAWCAWMF: Clint  
> popnlock: Wanda  
> ISeeYou: Vision  
> bugbro: Scott  
> Simba: T'Challa  
> memequeen: Shuri  
> MAGIC: Stephen (Dr. Strange)  
> waddles: Wade  
> mayonnaise: May Parker  
> snp: Pepper
> 
>  
> 
> the boss bass benches (the acadec chat):  
> fastandfurious: Flash  
> underoos: Peter  
> pickles: Ned  
> unwantedvegetables: MJ  
> lincoln: Abe  
> Betty: Betty  
> AAUU: Sally  
> SPACE O.O: Cindy  
> Hurricanes: Seymour  
> Harrington: Mr. Harrington  
> beautifulreptillian: Liz

**Friday, November 2**

 

**[moist bread]**

 

**(8:42 AM) irondad, spidermomma, Simba, memequeen, Magnet, Fridge, and birduncle are online**

 

 **irondad:** i am the proud father of one (1) dumbass kid

 

 **spidermomma:** What did he do?

 

 **irondad:** he didnt sleep well, so was very lethargic and forgot that he cant thermoregulate

 

 **birduncle:** Yo wait he can't thermoregulate?

 

 **irondad:** yeah so he went out into the cold like an idiot and his body was like

 **irondad:** "oh man its cold mmmk lets sleep for a few months until its warm"

 

 **memequeen:** he has too many people texting him ffs

 

 **irondad:** we literally just started talking wtf

 

 **memequeen:** i had to tell some of his friends to fuck off bc peters phone has a stupid setting on it where i can easily respond to texts on it but putting on dnd?? noooooo thats just an invasion of privacy

 

 **irondad:** ???

 

 **memequeen:** theres this stupid code and i dont feel like hacking into a teenage boy's phone because 

 **memequeen:** a.) its a major invasion of privacy and

 **memequeen:** b.) i dont want to see whatever pictures he has saved on there

 

 **birduncle:** Peter would probably be too embarrassed to have a picture of a leg on his phone let alone porn

 

 **memequeen:** legg

 **memequeen:** yes but he has a tumblr and

 **memequeen:** theres so much avengers porn

 **memequeen:** its horrible

 

 **irondad:** WHY ARE YOU CHECKING THESE THINGS

 **irondad:** also i stand by wilson, once i caught peter getting all flushed and dropping his phone over a picture of thor shirtless

 **irondad:** theres no way he saved porn

 

 **spidermomma:** He may have.

  

 **memequeen:** pure i 100% stan

 

 **spidermomma:** Awh,

 

 **Fridge:** peter Is So Kind and Adorable, oh My God

 

 **Magnet:** Spider-man is literally the best Avenger, hands down

 

 **irondad:** hey look i agree with you for once

 

**(8:49 AM) underoos is online**

 

 **underoos:** who the fuck woke me up

 **underoos:** i was warm

 **underoos:** and snuggly

 

 **memequeen:** PETER UR AWAKE???

 

 **irondad:** yo it took you like 2 weeks last time what

 

 **underoos:** hnng pls let me go back to sleep

 

 **irondad:** no

 

 **underoos:** im sleep now

 

 **spidermomma:** Peter you just slept for 24 hours.

 

 **underoos:** im nap now.

 

 **memequeen:** no, you might not wake up for a while again

 

 **underoos:** OW SHURI WHAT TEH FUVK

 

 **Magnet:**  Maybe you shouldn't swear so much...

 

 **Fridge:** why the Fuck not

 

 **Magnet:** Bucky no

 

 **Fridge:** strange, Tha'ts not what You Said last Night

 

 **Simba:** *that's

 

 **underoos:** ew wtf

 

 **underoos:** WHY DO I HVA ELIKE 100 UNREAD MESSAGES

 

 **memequeen:** it was so annoying let me tell you

 

 **Simba:** You two are literally in the same room.

 

 **memequeen:** everyone needs to know my disdain brother

 

 **underoos:** avengers tier list but shuris f tier

 

 **Fridge:** f

 

 **spidermomma:** F

 

 **memequeen:** can we get an f in the chat

 

 **Magnet:** I! Don't know what that means

 

 **Fridge:** f

 

 **memequeen:** f

 

 **birduncle:** f

 

 **Simba:** F

 

 **spidermomma:** F

 

 **irondad:** f

 

 **underoos:** f

 

**(8:54 AM) underoos went offline**

 

 **irondad:** son no

 

 **memequeen:** dw im not letting him go back to sleep

 

 **spidermomma:** Do you know how he woke up so quickly?

 

 **memequeen:** why the hell would I know

 **memequeen:** his dumbass does so many weird things

 **memequeen:** he may as well be a spider but also he's human

 

 **birduncle:** Who wants to play uno with me

 **birduncle:** So far I've got Clint and Scott to play

 **birduncle:** It'll be online so y'all don't actually have to get up or move or anything

 

 **Fridge:** lit Count Me in

 

 **memequeen:** uno i had to do it to em

 

 **spidermomma:** I would love to join and watch the Avengers fall apart again

 

 **birduncle:**  perfect I'm adding y'all

 

**(9:01 AM) birduncle, spidermomma, birduncle, memequeen, and Fridge went offline**

 

 **irondad:** :(

 

 **Magnet:** Hey, I'm still here

 

 **irondad:** :'(

 

 **Simba:** ha

 

**(9:02 AM) irondad kicked Simba and Magnet offline**

**(9:02 AM) irondad went offline**

* * *

 

 

**[the boss bass benches]**

[...]

 **SPACE O.O:** I'm kiiinda worried abt him tho tbh

 

**(8:54 AM) underoos is online**

 

 **underoos:** why the hell do i have 100 messages

 

 **SPACE O.O:** PETER

 

 **Betty:** Peter what the hell happened

 

 **underoos:** lmao my body shuts down when i get too cold haha

 **underoos:** AND i didnt get any sleep that night so i didnt notice it happening

 

 **fastandfurious:** wtf??

 

 **underoos:** yeah haha once I was out for like 2 weeks at one point

 **underoos:** but now no one is letting me go back to sleep so im sad

 **underoos:** im so warm and cozyyyy

 **underoos:** i just wanna rest my eyes for a bit but apparently 24 hours is enough :(

 **underoos:**  but!! how is sally is she alright

 

 **Betty:** Yeah, she's okay, but she won't be in school for a bit.

 

 **underoos:**  i hope she feels better soon!! getting crushed by a pile of rubble is not fun let me tell you that

 

 **SPACE O.O:** i absolutely hate that you know what that would feel like

 

 **fastandfurious:**  okay so parker who was texting for you

 

 **underoos:** someone was texting on my behalf??

 

 **fastandfurious:** yeah

 

 **underoos:** im going to fucking kill her, that bitch

 

 **Betty:** Who?

 

 **underoos:** a bitch ass hoe thats who

 

 **SPACE O.O:** she wouwdn't stowp tawking wike thisw

 

 **underoos:** it was her. it couldnt be anyone else

 

 **fastandfurious:** you're,, so weird

 

 **underoos:** more like wired with the amount of machinery im hooked up to rn lmao

 **underoos:** anyway im gonna see if i can go back to sleep w/o anyone noticing, bye

 

 **Betty:** Bye!

 

 **SPACE O.O:** fell better soon

 

 **fastandfurious:** fell?

 

**(9:05 AM) underoos went offline**

[...]

* * *

 

 

**[moist bread]**

 

**(9:27 AM) Simba and memequeen are online**

**memequeen:** he fell asleep the moment i took my eyes off him

 **memequeen:** guys?

 

 **Simba:** They're all playing uno.

 

 **memequeen:** ffs

 

**(9:27 AM) memequeen went offline**

**(9:28 AM) Simba went offline**

**Author's Note:**

> sowwy fow the showt chaptew owo


End file.
